" Happy birthday to Drew... you live in a zoo.."
Happy Birthday, my handsome sweet nephew. This is your monkey card (blog). The monkeys name is Uncle. The monkey, Uncle bought you a hat for your birthday. He got it on sale at Target. It was marked down to 99 cents. Uncle had saved part of the paycheck he earned playing cymbals while accompanying a singing street vendor. Uncle complains day and night, "Oh, my arms hurt." But really what are his alternative employment options? Now with the internets people aren't sending as many monkey cards by mail. They don't need monkey models any more. Everything is monkey air brushed and Photo shopped. Anyway. Uncle loves your hat so much he won't give it back to me. We even took it to a mall kiosk and had it Bedazzled with" Drew Myshirtfits" He has been asked politely over and over but he refuses to take it off. I had to chase him through a Kirklands, a Dollar Tree, Old Navy and finally Hot Topic before he set off an alarm running out an emergency exit. Imagine my embarrassment, being seen in a Hot Topic. After chasing him around and around in the parking lot for an hour there was no possible way to grab the hat, package, address it and ship UPS before the close of business so it would arrive on time for your 22nd birthday. Uncle said he is deeply regretful and wants to cheer you up by telling you a few of his favorite jokes.
So there is a man in a movie theater who notices what looks like a monkey sitting next to him.
"Are you a monkey?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The monkey replied, "Well, I liked the book."
Okay, so you don't seem satisfied? You act like a monkey tells you jokes every day. You, Millennial's and your laissez faire attitudes. I suppose if he had texted you a joke you would be more impressed. Okay, how about this one?
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a monkey in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that monkey?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the monkey again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that monkey to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"
So I hope this blog will suffice for now. I miss seeing your adorable face and hope you have a wonderful celebration. Give your Mom, Dad and Bri a hug from me. It really was a beautiful hat. Happy Birthday!! Love you. Auntie, Lisa
