Monday, December 10, 2012

"Mostly I'm silent...."

“When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.” ― Ansel Adams
     Maddie was my best friend, companion, therapy dog and adventure vehicle co-pilot for almost twelve years. She was the George Putnam to my Amelia Earhart, the "Goose" to my "Maverick", the Cal Naughton Jr. to my Ricky Bobby. On long treks she curled up content on the passenger seat but on short trips around the neighborhood she sat in my lap. Maddie would rest her head on the car window frame as I propped up her body on my arm. She had full access to the caressing breezes that blew back her beautiful flowing cocker spaniel ears. One evening I remember switching off my Arcade Fire cd to listen to the radio. The song playing was classic Chicago from the seventies. "Beginning's" is a very upbeat, positive song that seemed to define our moment in the setting sun perfectly._
_"When I'm with you, it doesn't matter where we are, Or what we're doing. I'm with you, that's all that matters. Time passes much too quickly when we're together laughing. I wish I could sing it to you, oh no, I wish I could sing it to you. Mostly I'm silent. Never think about words to say."

      The line, "mostly I'm silent" resonated with me most. The deep wordless silence we experience with human beings, animals, especially dogs is so profound. I used to tell Maddie aloud I loved her a thousand times a day. If she were human she may have thought, "Geez! Enough, already! I know..I know!!" Silence is a gift. Love is not always communicated by words. Love is shown by our actions and felt simply by BEING there. After a few days I felt absolutely compelled to purchase Chicago's Greatest Hits featuring "Beginnings", playing it whenever Maddie and I went for a ride. Singing at the top of my lungs in the car I would do my best Robert Lamm impression while from the passenger seat Maddie curiously gazed at me with those gorgeous, soulful, brown eyes. Was she thinking," my owner is bonkers"? "You sound nothing like Robert Lamm.", " I love you too, crazy human." "When do I get another treat?" Dogs never think about words to say and that is one reason we love our dogs so much. As the song played we happily continued on our journey. Now whenever I listen to the song in my car I glance over at my empty co-pilot seat, smile, whisper, "I love you" and mostly I'm silent.

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