Sunday, September 15, 2013

"here comes the sun and I say, it's all right...."

“It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.”
― Gabriel GarcĂ­­a Marquez- author of One Hundred Years of Solitude

     One hundred journal entries ago I had an epiphany about the direction of my life. And it was this; "What the hell are you waiting for?" There is no "perfect" time to pursue your passions. Either you do or you don't. Either you do what you love and give 100% or you continue to suffer. You live with regret. No one else is responsible for your suffering but you, change. There are members of my family that haven't read a single entry on this website. They have no idea that this blog is maybe one percent of what I actually write and create. Validation. We need to let go of the idea of validation.  Exceptionally intelligent, motivated, successful adults I know and love personally cannot psychologically move forward because they were never validated by family, society, friends, or their children in some way. Holding on to the idea that you need every ones approval will mentally and creatively destroy you. Every one has a need for acceptance. We all want to be loved. We want to be appreciated. We also want to be authentic and true to ourselves. If people really love you, I mean truly, honestly love you, they want you to be happy. The sacrifice begins and ends with you.

     To honor my 100th blog entry I've decided to write a letter to my one hundred year old future self. Some of my relatives are laughing right now thinking, " Hell, there is NO WAY she is going to live to see one hundred."  To be fair they know the full scope of my "health' habits. To put this all in perspective one hundred will be over fifty-five years away or realistically another entire lifetime from right NOW.

   Dear Lisa,
       In the heroic words of one Mr. Barry Manilow  may I humbly say,.."looks like we made it" baby. It's a good thing you gave up smoking and polishing off a box of Cheeze-Its every other night. But then what the hell? You even ran a few 5K's. You know what really kept you in shape was finally convincing that young hot n' sexy actor Tom Hardy to marry you after becoming a best selling author and millionaire in your forties. What incredible memories you're going to replay in your mind as you sit in your retirement community watching all your adorable rescued cocker spaniels run wild n' free in the yard. Of course you still play Bingo with your eighty year old nieces, nephews and their children and their children's' children when they come to visit once a year. They wouldn't miss playing for a one hundred dollar bill prize or a set of keys to a brand new Jaguar. Needless to say winning that Publishers Clearinghouse cash helped a lot too. Remember right after you first won 5,000.00 a week you and your niece moved to Charlotte and bought and drove for the Roush Fenway Racing Team?  After each victory you donated your earnings to all the causes you care about so deeply and the charities you love, paid off  your brothers and sisters debts, provided them and their children with whatever their hearts desired and even built a chocolate factory that some of them managed for you. Good times. But I digress.
      So you  remember that blog you started because you wanted to "express" yourself? Well, that was a great idea. One of your favorite quotes by Lao-Tzu has always been " the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step..."   Philosophically speaking despite all the shit you still had an amazing life. No regrets.