“If you love someone, they leave you. But if you don't love someone, they leave you, too. So your choice isn't between loving and losing but only between loving and not loving.” ― Steve Rasnic Tem
As surely as you breathe you will experience love and loss. Love and loss are part of the human experience. If you are fortunate you will be granted many many years loving your family, spouse, significant other, children, lovers, friends, your pets, a beautiful sunset, a vast ocean....
But you WILL experience the pain and joy of love and loss. It's unavoidable. You cannot hide from loss, you cannot ignore suffering any more than you can avoid death. In fact love and loss have made you the person you are today. Do you remember the first time you lost someone or something you loved? How do you forget? The memory of our first experience of loss shapes and molds how we will continue to live in the world. Our first loss forms the curves and contours of our existence. Loss is the architect of our heart.
The greatest loss of my life occurred in my childhood. My mother was entirely too young to die at the age of thirty-nine. She loved her children and always wanted to be a mother. In my memory she was LOVE incarnate. When I think of her brief time on this earth and the fact that she had to leave behind five children it is more than my heart can bare. She was the source of all the love that shown so brightly upon me and the moment of her passing felt as if the light disappeared from my soul. When people callously toss out the old adage "time heals all wounds" I cringe. Time does not allow any of us to forget. Time only provides us with the challenge to change and adapt. When all our inner searching and exploring is over we realize we are still loved and need to show our love to others. When we are wounded or cut open time will heal a wound but scars always remain. There are many wise and beautiful people who reveal their scars openly with courage and strength. If you have scars it means you have lived. It means you have survived. Now you must continue to love.